How to prove you are being bullied at work

Bullying is rarely done in front of witnesses, and almost never in writing. That is not an accident. It means that when you finally raise it, the account often comes down to your word against theirs, months after the fact, and memory alone will not carry it.

A contemporaneous log simply means notes written at the time, or as close to it as possible. Tribunals and investigators give far more weight to a note written on the day than to a recollection written a year later.

You will usually have more evidence than you think. The strongest material is often mundane, because it was created for another purpose and nobody thought to hide it.

• Emails and chat messages, including the tone of ones sent to you compared with those sent to colleagues.
• Meeting invitations you were removed from, or meetings you were never invited to.
• Changing performance reviews, particularly a sudden drop after you raised something.
• Rotas, workload allocations and task lists showing you carrying what others do not.
• Your sick leave record, your fit notes and any occupational health report.
• Your employer's own bullying, harassment, grievance and dignity at work policies.

Patterns persuade more than single incidents. One cancelled meeting means nothing. Eleven cancelled one to ones in a row, with dates, is very hard to explain away.

Colleagues who privately agree with you often will not repeat it formally. That is fear, not dishonesty, and it is worth expecting so it does not floor you when it happens.

This comes up constantly, and the honest answer has two parts. In the UK it is not a criminal offence to record a conversation you are part of, for your own use. But doing it covertly may breach your employer's policies or your contract, and can be treated as a disciplinary matter.

You have the right to ask your employer for the personal data they hold about you. This is called a subject access request, and it can surface emails about you that you were never meant to see.